It is important to allow children to feel their feelings – without us being more concerned about our own (inadvertently, of course).
For example, if a child is crying because one of their playmates took one of their toys from them or they are having difficulty accomplishing a task, it is common to say something along the lines of, “That’s all right. It’s not a big deal.”
For the child to be crying, obviously, it is a big deal to them, in the moment.
Telling them it’s not a big deal inadvertently discounts their feelings and in essence, sets up a pattern for them to squelch their feelings as they grow older.
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In the example, I have given, there is not one cut and dry answer to this because it depends on the child in the moment and how upset they are, if this is a pattern of having this happen to them and if there are other factors, such as the child is tired and needing a nap.
So, everything is situational. The important thing to understand is: Whose feelings are more important in that moment. In other words, if it pains you to see your child crying (and most likely it may to some degree or another), what is your true motivation for wanting the child to stop crying? Is it to make him/her feel better? Or to make YOU feel better? 
This article gives some great examples and tips.
The one things I really liked about it is the example given at the end of the article that can serve as a template for holding a space for the child to begin to take ownership and work a process to help themselves feel better.
What do you take away from this article?
What things have you used successfully in situations like this?
